Three Brevard residents open up about their personal mental health issues, in the hopes of helping others and reducing biases.1 in 5 American adults live with mental illnessGenetics can play a role in mental health issues, as well as life experiences and their environment.
I was recently on an assignment at Melbourne-Orlando International Airport, where I was checking out a new program that brings therapy dogs into the terminals to reduce passengers’ travel-related stress.
It was an instant mood booster, which I anticipated.
But what I wasn’t expecting? A frank conversation about mental health.
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As I walked alongside Melissa Naughton, assistant director of business development and marketing at the airport, she spoke of how the MLB Comfort Canines are helping not only travelers, but airport employees as well. She then casually mentioned that she personally experiences anxiety and panic attacks.
“I grew up with a mom who lived with schizophrenia, and unfortunately, lost her battle with it nearly 11 years ago,” Naughton, 51, said. “Because of that and other childhood traumas, I have my own battle with depression, anxiety and, at times, panic attacks.”
Naughton finds therapy, as well as recently starting an antidepressant, “has been so helpful.”
“I believe that the more we talk about mental health and mental health care, the easier it will be for it to be regarded as just health and health care, a part of whole-body wellness,” Naughton said.
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Because Naughton started that conversation, I felt compelled to share my own mental health struggles, too. I explained that I, too, deal with depression, anxiety and occasional panic attacks. Sometimes, I feel terribly down and ignore household chores staring me right in the face. (As I write this, my Christmas tree, which I didn’t even put ornaments on this year, is still up in my living room – partly because don’t feel like dealing with it, and also because it still brings me joy.) I also used to be an alcohol abuser. I stopped cold turkey for the sake of my children (and my health) in April 2020.
I wanted to talk more. And not only to Naughton.
I wondered if others would also talk as openly about their mental health struggles. In the course of asking, I met a Cocoa man who shared how he copes with bipolar disorder, and a veteran still working through PTSD. Their willingness to be open is one step closer to helping change the conversation about mental health.
Not alone: 1 in 5 adult Americans are touched by mental illness
Natalie Hussein, president of NAMI Brevard, an organization dedicated to improving the lives of people with serious mental illnesses, explained how common mental illness is. Hussein said one in five people suffer from mental illness.
I believe we all have been touched by mental illness in some way. Sometimes, it’s our own battle; other times, it’s watching a loved one wrestle with their emotional health — and feeling hopeless on how to help. My paternal grandmother, who died 30 years ago, had severe mental health issues her whole life. I recall her being miserable most of the time, and she basically laid in bed with a wet rag on her forehead, and every visit to see her, she said she was “worse” than before. I asked my dad about it, who told me that several decades back, my grandmother went through “extreme shock treatments” and some type of psychosurgery. In addition, all three of her brothers were alcoholics.
I suspect some of my struggles are linked to my family lineage.
A Healthline article about depression suggests there is a genetic component — but other factors, such as people’s life experiences and their environment, play a part, too. The National Institue on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism revealed our genes make up about 50% of an individual’s risk for developing alcohol use disorder (AUD).
Still, talking about our own personal issues in a public arena feels incredibly vulnerable. Some people relate. Others judge.
But these tough conversations are just what we need to open the door to not only help ourselves, but others who don’t know where to turn. It can be scary. And, at times, even a little bit embarrassing.
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But these brave people who share their personal, even heartbreaking battles, scoot us closer to ridding society of the biases some people still have about mental illness.
And for those of us who have decided to bare our souls, we do so with one goal: we want to normalize the conversation about mental health. To show people it is possible to find help, happiness and a feeling of normalcy, despite what’s kicking around in our brains.
And maybe even save a life by sharing our own vulnerabilities.
‘Stuff that’s just going on inside your brain’
Cam Meehan, 33, of Cocoa, has wrestled with bipolar I disorder – and he’s comfortable with others knowing that.
“It can only help me further along in life, it can protect the people I love by me being open,” said Meehan, who works for a large wholesale company. “A lot of people don’t know or may not be able to understand us, just like I might not be able to understand what someone else is going through.”
Meehan said having bipolar disorder adds another emotional layer to the ups and downs of life. So does Meehan’s struggles with major depression and anxiety.
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“There’s this stuff that’s just going on inside your brain,” Meehan said of his diagnosis.
He anecdotally explained that a person dealing with a mental illness could, perhaps, proudly climb Mount Everest — and then suddenly switch to severe depression and having feelings of “I’m nothing.”
To help keep joy in the mix of his mind, Meehan leads drum circles at local establishments. With so much negative noise around, it’s liberating for him to get lost in sound – and check out of life’s problems, if only for a little bit.
“I know that I am so much more than that negative talk,” Meehan said. “That’s why I pour into my drumming as an outlet for me to help bring joy to other people – and bring happiness and peace to my heart.
“There’s just so much chaos in this beautiful world,” Meehan said. “Drumming just silences it all to me, which is ironic.”
‘Here to remind people that they can keep going’
Meehan feels like he’s on a path of redemption, trying to continuously grow as a person. For him, the answer is Drumming with Cam – what he calls his life’s work now.
“I think I’m here to remind people that they can keep going, and they can keep dreaming that dream,” Meehan said. “They just have to really keep doing it, really keep putting the work in.”
For Meehan, that means taking the right steps. Letting go of addictions. Going back on meds.
“I tried without them,” said Meehan, who also suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). “I need them.”
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“Life is beautiful, and it gets better,” Meehan said. “I see it, and I’m proof.”
PTSD: ‘All of a sudden, these things start hitting’
Realtor Jeffrey Nietupski, 39, of Melbourne, is a veteran who served as a Corporal in the Marine Corps from 2005 to 2009. During his service, he was assigned to Okinawa, Japan, Camp Lejeune and the Al Anbar Providence in Iraq.
While serving in Iraq, Nietupski compartmentalized his service strictly as a job. But being back on American soil changed everything. He began to grapple with incidents that occurred while he was overseas.
“Those are the decisions that you make that later on really affect you,” Nietupski said. “You go through all this war, and you have all this on your mind. Well, when you get back home to wherever it is, it may be home, kids and family, and maybe home, back to your duty station. All of a sudden, these things start hitting, and you start getting angry about things.”
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Many turn to alcohol to numb their PTSD. According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, nearly one of every three veterans being treated for substance use disorder (SUD) also have PTSD.
“The big thing that my mom and sisters told me is I was ‘cold’ when I came back,” Nietupski said of returning to the states after serving in Iraq.
In the beginning of the deployment, pictures would be taken, with people telling Nietupski, “You guys all look so happy.” As time went on, these photos began to show something different.
“They visibly saw the difference in all of us — that war had impacted us,” Nietupski said.
“It has a big change on your personality,” Nietupski added.
Nietupski still speaks to his platoon commander – because he can understand what’s going on in his mind in a way not everyone can. Having support from others is healing.
Nietupski said he’s gotten good at masking his feelings. But he continues to have recurrent nightmares that he is still in combat, under attack and cannot find his gun.
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Nietupski has been open about his PTSD. He’s found solace and friendship in kava bars, which are sober establishments.
“The best healing is just talking about it,” Nietupski said.
Nietupski left the military after suffering a traumatic brain injury (TBI).
“I got this scar on my head,” Nietupski said, pointing to the faded wound above his right eyebrow. “A window fell on my head while I was at the barracks in Camp Lejeune…They would test mortars and different missiles and bombs. And it always shook the window. One day, it just fell and shattered on my head at, like, six in the morning.”
But Nietupski thinks men are gradually becoming more at ease in sharing their mental health struggles. Just like him (and Meehan, too).
“Guys are expected to be macho and men of steel,” Nietupski said. “So, there’s less outlets for men to talk about their problems, especially when you’re dealing with depression, PTSD or trauma.”
Witnessing mental illness firsthand as a child
Naughton said she ties some of her mental health issues to her gene pool, as well as what she witnessed as a child.
As she grew up, Naughton said she dealt with gastrointestinal problems – which she attributes to the stress and anxiety that surrounded her. Her mom never personally spoke about her schizophrenia. But Naughton recognized that when it came to her mom’s mind, something wasn’t right.
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“She never sat down and talked to me about how it affected her,” Naughton said. “But from my observations, she would hear voices in her head who would tell her crazy things. Sometimes, she would just take off. She would just, she would just leave.”
Naughton would have to go track her mom down. Halloween tended to be a trigger.
“I’m not sure,” Naughton said of what would set her mom off. “She didn’t like spooky and scary things. She thought it was evil. So that would always get her going. Unfortunately, we never had a discussion of what it really, really did to her, you know, outside of hearing voices, seeing things…and (her) thinking that I wasn’t really her daughter.”
‘We don’t want to pass on (this gene)’
She recalled one of many incidents with her mom’s sickness.
“She had a really bad episode,” Naughton said. “I was sitting at my kitchen counter. I was reading a book…. And there’s something in the book that triggered her, and she grabbed it and ripped it in half. My dad started freaking out.”
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The ambulance came and took Naughton’s mom to an inpatient facility, where she spent some time and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. While help was sought, in the end, her sickness took over – and Naughton’s mom took her own life in 2013, at the age of 64.
“It’s good to talk about this again,” Naughton said. “You know that you’re not alone.”
Naughton’s father was diagnosed with cancer when Naughton was just 10. Her grandfather took his own life in 2012.
‘I’ve gone through all this. There’s a reason.’
The genetic risk of passing along mental health issues – especially her mom’s schizophrenia, led Naughton to make a difficult decision but one she felt adamant about. She decided to not have children.
“I have three cousins on my mom’s side of the family, and none of us have had children,” Naughton said. “We recognize we don’t want to pass on (this gene) in our family.”
Naughton said once she retires, she would like to do volunteer work in the mental health field. She posts openly about mental health — such as suicidal ideations — on social media. Just to educate others and give them hope.
“Looking towards my future, I want to do something to make a difference,” Naughton said. “I’ve gone through all this. There’s a reason, I suppose, to live with all this, and if I can help others, that’s what I want to do.”
If you or a loved one are seeking help, there are many resources. 211 Brevard is a free and confidential resource. Call 211, text 898211 or visit 211brevard.org. If you are having thoughts of suicide or concerned with a loved one, call or text 9-8-8. The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline offers free, confidential emotional support 24/7.
This reporting is supported by a Journalism Funding Partners grant. Mental Health Reporter Sara Paulson can be reached at spaulson@floridatoday.com.
