Andrew Dalton, Associated Press entertainment writer
LOS ANGELES (AP) – Nikki Glazer worked hard to open the Golden Globes on Sunday, then eased up during her monologue.
In her opening joke, she suggested that the stars in the room may have appeared in the Epstein files, criticizing CBS, which airs the show.
“There are so many A-listers. By A-listers, I mean people who are on heavily edited lists,” she said. “And the Golden Globe Award for Best Editing goes to the Department of Justice.”
She began mocking CBS News’ recent woes and the station’s cancellation of an important “60 Minutes” story about the Trump administration sending immigrants to prisons in El Salvador.
“Most of the editorial awards go to CBS News,” she said. “Yes, it’s CBS News. America’s newest place to watch BS News.”
She did not bring up Venezuela, which she told The Associated Press this week was something she was considering mentioning, but feared it would already become old news amid the turmoil. And there was no mention of ICE.
Glazer also told The Associated Press that she has trouble finding jokes about Julia Roberts, and that nothing she tried on comedy club test audiences paid off because the actress is so loved and respected.
She found a way to tackle it from the side.
“Like the podcasters I nominated tonight, I shouldn’t be allowed this close to Julia Roberts,” she said, getting the big laugh she was looking for.
It was Glazer’s second time hosting the show. She was quickly rehired after receiving high marks during her first stint last year. She was first hired after giving a brutal roast to a participant in Netflix’s Roast of Tom Brady. She was nicer at the Globe, but her jokes still had some bite.
She made the usual joke about Leonardo DiCaprio dating younger women.
“You’ve worked with all the great directors. You’ve won three Golden Globes and one Oscar,” she said. “And the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turns 30.”
Then she got meta and apologized for being so obvious.
“Leo, I’m sorry for making a joke. It’s a cheap one. You know, I tried not to, but, well, we don’t know anything else about you, come on. There’s nothing else, open up!” she said, earning even bigger laughs than the original joke, especially from DiCaprio himself.
Among the inevitable jokes about her nomination and eventual winner for Marty Supreme, she focused on Timothée Chalamet’s toned physique, calling him “the first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about table tennis. It’s true. He gained over 60 ounces.”
During the show, she stood in the audience and gave a presentation on the ballroom’s layout.
“To my right is a table with “Hamnet,” “All Her Fault,” and “Bugonia,” she said. “It’s an area we call ‘Traumatized Women’s Alley.’ We’ll never find out where ‘Traumatized Men’s Alley’ is because they’re forbidden to tell us. ”
At one point, she started singing intentionally hacky songs, as she did last year when she combined “Wicked” and “Conclave” into the aborted gag song “Popeular.”
This time, before taking off her dress to reveal her sweatshirt underneath, she pretended to accidentally say “K-Pong Demon Hunters,” grabbed a table tennis paddle-shaped microphone, and fused “Marty Supreme” and “KPop Demon Hunters” to the tune of “Golden,” which won the latter’s Best Original Song award.
“Marty” co-star Fran Drescher soon came out and interrupted Glazer in his famous raspy voice, saying, “You should stop singing, your voice is so annoying.”
But Glazer also received a joke from Judd Apatow, who told a story before presenting him with the Best Director award.
“Nikki Glazer used to be our babysitter,” he said. “That’s true. She was our babysitter, and she’s like, ‘I do stand-up comedy.’ Then I looked at her sets online, and they were all about sucking reefers and having weird sex, and then she quit babysitting. ”
