Mother’s Day dawn is a holiday in which women with children are smoothed out by caricatures distorted due to mimosas. The reality is that moms have many. Some moms remain skeptical of the cut floral industry. Some moms grill as much meat as their father’s hollow archetype they celebrate in June.
Pretty reliable counterpoint: Are moms kind? At least diplomacy. Due to their stress levels and workload, moms have developed mutational abilities to see the best in bad situations. If moms don’t strive for harmony, then families will simply drown each other with two inches of water. Mom reminds me that even though Kyle says “Skibidi Toilet,” she still has positive qualities despite wearing a target swim trunk to her class.
Wow, I’m stalling. Now, let’s do this. In the spirit of Mother’s Day, it’s time to praise the Florida Legislature. Not that all moms are fans of current lawmakers’ crops. But moms demand that we resolve the difference through gritting our teeth, or that no one receives a soft serve.
Thank you, Congress, for doing something about the crane issue. Specifically, lawmakers have passed a bill requiring construction sites to secure winding equipment before a hurricane hits. Companies that may face licence suspensions to underestimate the law should develop a hurricane safety plan.
These may seem like obvious precautions, such as cutting grapes in half or drawing a Sharpie line in a liquor bottle. But it’s not Florida who loves developers. Not Florida with fluoride obstacles. Not petition blocking, but Chemtrail Crazy Flo…Yes, yes, sorry, mom.
A keen reader will remember a crane crashing into a Tampa Bay Times building during Hurricane Milton. Incredibly, no one was injured or killed. The skyscrapers in downtown St. Petersburg have yawns, their structures uninhabited and are roaming with mold.
At the time of the accident, Gov. Ron DeSantis held a press conference right in front of Sauron, saying, “Do we have to regulate everything?”
So, no, Ma. Progress was not a natural conclusion.
Post-collision time surveys found a major gap in the way heavy machinery regulated. One major barrier to safety was a state law that prohibited local governments from writing their own crane regulations.
This year, Democrats, unfortunately, were of no use, but tried to turn the lead. Republicans, Senators Nick Dicegley and Fiona McFarland, covered the issue and proposed a Hurricane Relief Bill, which includes crane safety. After the exchange, the bill passed the day of the last regular session, sliding under the wire like a last booking at the cheesecake factory.
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Is the solution perfect? No, there’s more work going forward as Florida balances growth and hurricane strengthening. But the first step is… good work, everyone.
Desantis must sign the bill to the law. On Wednesday, he said he would sign a bill banning hotels and golf courses in state parks. Adding this to the ink pile shows a positive trend and a movement to adorable pants in the world of swimming trunks (seriously, have you been to middle school recently? Boys love celebration trunks).
Until then, look, mom. We’re working. Everyone saw the problem, talked about solutions, and reached a compromise. Now, relax. There’s a publix electric blue daisy bundle and a box of foul chocolate with a cherigu in the center. You taught us a lot.
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