We are tired.
Lack of sleep has become a national entertainment. The reason is Legion. Our tireless work ethic, caffeine addiction, and late-night Netflix Binges are useless. A century ago, the average American wasn’t plagued by the demand to stuff another episode of “Zero Day” into a pre-bedtime routine. They were easier times.
The sense that we are approaching a torn world does not help us to waft into those precious Rem cycles. For some reason, we even chopped it on Canadians. Canadians have their own entertainment, which is good manners and to make excellent maple syrup.
But at this point, every year we make the problem worse. We decided to make ourselves even sleepy – intentionally. Maybe we’re too tired to make good decisions.
In our haze we “spring up.” Overnight on Sunday, our clocks change like magic, but our bodies do not change like magic. They plunge deep into stripping. Springing forward sounds very positive, as if we were heading in the right direction, as if we were trying to achieve our essential goals. But messing around with the time is only suitable for coffee makers and 5 hours of energy sales. The results include car breakage, heart attacks and reduced productivity.
Moving forward only must be done on the gymnastics mat and the long jump pit. Hollywood director Christopher Nolan can bend everything he wants (see Memorials, Inception, Dunkirk, Interstellar). The rest of us want to get our sleep back.
No one can even agree on why we started this madness. Farmers are often responsible, but author Michael Downing had other ideas about his book Spring Forward: The Annual Madness of Daylight Saving Time.
“The most authoritative sources agree that it is Pittsburgh industrialist Woodrow Wilson, London horse man, Manhattan socialite, Benjamin Franklin, Caesar, or an anonymous manufacturer of water clocks in ancient China and Japan,” he writes. “The very thought of saving daylight saving time seemed to give a lot of people a terrible headache, which made them angry, making it more likely to make up for things.”
Yes, there are big problems in our country and the world. However, many people find it difficult to solve. In many cases, there is no technical know-how or sufficient support. However, making a fuss with watches twice a year is not widely popular. Some babies and dogs dislike it, and some try to sleep near their babies and dogs. The issues are easily fixed and there is bipartisan support. You can actually do this.
In 2018, Republicans and Democrats in the Florida State Legislature overwhelmingly passed the law to move the state into permanent daylight savings time, but Congress must register for such a move. Since then, Alabama, Colorado, Delaware, Georgia, Louisiana, Minnesota, Tennessee and Wyoming have been moving similarly.
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In the US Senate, Florida’s own Marco Rubio will defend the Sunshine Protection Act, bringing the entire country to permanent daylight savings time. Perhaps Secretary of State Rubio can chat with Elon Musk about how switching clocks twice a year can hurt productivity. We know how masks love efficiency.
Locking the watch does not engulf us in an existential crisis. The idea is neither dangerous nor original. Arizona and Hawaii already do that. This is true of many countries, including Brazil, Argentina, Japan, and many other countries, including Asia and Africa. Over the past decades, Azerbaijan, Iran, Jordan, Namibia, Russia, Samoa, Syria, Turkey and Uruguay have all locked their watches.
Iceland stopped observing daylight savings in 1968. Have you ever been to Iceland? Those people are satisfied and even happy. They winnie our lasso to Roy Kent, rumors to our eeyore. Is it an extra sleep?
It’s not so important whether we stay on the norm or save daylight savings. We’ve already saved eight months of daylight savings. If adding another 4 months is easier, do it. It will make the morning darker longer, but many places survive darker mornings and accept more light in the evening.
Another option is to split the difference, push the clock back for 30 minutes in autumn, leaving it there. The key is to gather together options to end the crazy time you mess with your watch twice a year.
Thank you to everyone who has created this column so far. I know how tired you are. But now is the time to summon the sparks. It’s just enough to lock the lock to the finish line.
After that, we can all take a nap.