Governor Race in 2026 – Is this the best Republicans have to offer?

The sitting governor is engaging his feet like a disability waterfowl with a bad beer hangover, and is stimulating high levels of Shaden Fluid in the Florida Legislature.

He’s on the way to become obsolete and everyone knows it.

Therefore, the next gubernatorial election will not take place until November 2026, but it is time in the past that we look to the future.

One of the main candidates is Byron Donald, a lawmaker from Southwest Florida, and the epic Trump Lamp Kisser.

Donald calls Trump “daddy.”

Trump calls Donald a “complete winner” and says he supports the eye-opening House members for the governor.

Donald’s understanding of the American past is to make it kind. To enhance minority support for “daddy” at the 2024 event, he expressed his nostalgia for Jim Crow’s good old days.

At the time, he said, “Black families were together,” and blacks voted for conservatives.

Of course, this is nonsense. At the time, black people rarely voted.

If they try to cast a vote past (and most of them didn’t) past the “literacy test” required to vote tax and register, they could be lynched.

Rep. Donald may want to be familiar with the Ocoee massacre.

In 1920, a farmer named Mose Norman tried to exercise his rights as American citizens and vote. A white mob rampaged through the town, killing at least 50 people.

Instead of realizing that the United States still suffers from racism and misogyny, Donald prefers to indulge in false history and retrograde gender stereotypes, saying, “Men are created by God to become conquerors.” To become a hunter.” Today’s American man says, “How can I hunt my people and go hunt my family?”

What is he talking about? Are you looking for a good education? Good job? rabbit?

paranoia

With Trump’s support, Donald is leading the Republican Pack of potential candidates for governor, according to one recent poll that has received at least 31% support. The mayor challenged Miami’s ethics.

But despite the declaration that Trump is in the mix, there are other ER, interesting candidates that can’t be so easily rejected despite the declaration that the race is a deal made.

With the chaotic presidential mask unleashing the country, Trump may not be as strong within a year.

Casey DeSantis is the head of a poll conducted by the University of North Florida and the Florida Atlantic University/Main Street Survey.

Ron DeSantis claims that Florida’s first lady isn’t running for anything. She is a wife and mother who are dedicated supporters of the American cosmetics industry.

He rather officially calls her “first lady,” but “co-governor” may be more accurate.

Two of them dressed exactly the same way in the tour area that was destroyed by Hurricane Ian in 2022, including jeans, a white shirt, a Florida Department of Emergency Management vest and white rubber boots.

As for his career, she is a decision maker, strategist and enforcer.

Casey is seen as more favorable than Ron, but like him, she is paranoid.

In 2024, when Ron DeSantis was running for president, she tried to “humanize” him, smiling and reminding her that she was “likeable.”

Unfortunately, it didn’t work, as evidenced by his miserable reserves.

Susie Wills, Florida’s most feared campaign pro, worked at DeSantis until Casey was somehow dealing with her relationship with the governor and chasing her away.

Without keeping a secret of her deep dislikes about DeSanty, Wills piloted Trump’s campaign and is now the White House Chief of Staff.

Oops.

Not more popular than Palmetto bugs

But the ruthlessness, odd control and a mile-wide authoritarian streak is barely disqualified in Florida.

Ron DeSantis and his equally socially troublesome predecessor proved this.

Byron Donald and Casey are obviously frontrunners, but there are plenty of disgraceful characters besides keeping an eye on the mansion.

Matt Gaetz, for a start – a rich, extremely punchy, Botox boy with all the charms of a drunk iguana.

It is the words of Congress’ investigation into his conduct, and Matt Gaetz, Matt Gaetz, who is “prostitution, Matt Gaetz, who is justly accused of being legally statutory.” As an election, it would be Matt Getz, the same person who was forced to withdraw his name from consideration. Rape, illegal drug use, unacceptable gifts, special favors and privileges, obstruction of Congress. ”

This man was investigated for sex trafficking by the Department of Justice, paid a 17-year-old child to have sex with him, and sought a member of his fellow home in nude photos of a woman he claimed to have. “We made you happy,” we slept together.

He has no ideas, but he is full of insults.

He humiliates Republicans, Democrats, Senators, lawmakers, women, reproductive advocates, environmentalists, feminists, gay people, and black people.

As a member of the Florida family, he ridiculed two black senators, implying that they were stupid.

Gaetz may have to overcome some obstacles. First of all, his statewide approval rating is 18%. He’s not as popular as Palmetto bugs, blue-green algae and Kanye West.

Still, money is phenomenal in politics, and there is plenty of cash in the Gaetz campaign. Even if he had to get it from Dad.

Playing more than you

Florida Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson is another candidate, less aware of the name than Matt Getz, but he has since not been criticized for being credible in legal rape.

Simpson recently snipered Ron DeSantis to highlight himself by targeting himself as the most Trump of immigrants. “I’m not the one who ran against President Trump.”

When Simpson was Senate President, DeSantis rejected $300 million for planned $600 million cancer facilities and conservation land in Pasco County (part of the Simpson area).

Nevertheless.

Jeannette Nuñez, do you say? She’s making a bank with her new sinecure: Fau president, so why does she leave?

Plus, her votes can be ignored and she’s boring to launch.

But this is Florida: you never know.

For roughly five minutes in 2023, Miami Mayor Francis Suarez was the candidate for President of the United States. It didn’t work.

Recently, he has called the governor’s run “funny.”

What’s interesting is that he is the subject of several state and federal probes (a state probe (a joke of the state ethics committee), cities that give him permission to special buildings.

I dare to dream

But why do we limit the so-called trustworthy (probably if it is possible to prosecute) to those who are relevant to those who deserve to run towards Florida’s best offices? Wait?

Thinking in the blue sky, people!

Don Trump Jr.

He is young, connected, armed, and lives in a $10 million home on Jupiter (a town in Palm Beach County, not a planet) and thinks about the government.

That’s how jd vance is great.

Don Jr. praised himself for getting his current gig to the Nazi brave VP, and when he ggled his daddy, he said “10,000%” of his political capital. I’ve used up what I explained.

He also defended Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

So when your child gets measles, you know who to thank.

And then there’s Jeff Bezos.

He’s Florida! He owns more than three ridiculous homes on Indian Creek Island, one of which is 23,000 square feet.

His neighbors include Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, Tom Brady, and rising oceans caused by man-made climate change.

Jeff B is a great choice. He could just buy the state (except for the portion owned by his fellow billionaires).

The economic problems have been solved.

There

And now he’s out of prison, so what about former proud juvenile leader Enrique Talio?

In fact, he cannot call himself a “proud boy.” Earlier this month, a federal judge awarded the violent nationalist names and trademarks of the Church Talio costume, which was destroyed in 2020, to the Methodist Anglican Church of Washington, DC, the Metropolitan African.

Or Rep. Anna Paulina Luna, one of Florida’s most impressive intelligences.

Luna, the author of the proposal to place Trump’s face on Mount Rushmore, investigates the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963.

She ordered members of the Warren Committee to appear before her.

Imagine: If APL was the governor, she could have started investigating Mickey’s Mouse Hood. Is he an actual rodent or an undocumented Mexican? – Similar to the request, Miami PD’s Sonny Crockett testifies under oath as to whether Detective Ricotabs is a employ of Day.

Seriously, Y’all: How does Florida not go well with this rich treasure trove of political geniuses?

Diane Roberts is an eighth generation Florida and was born and raised in Tallahassee. Educated at Florida State University and Oxford University in the UK, she has been writing for the newspaper since 1983. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Times of London, The Guardian, The Washington Post, Oxford American, and Flamingo.