Take the wild, pristine and indignant tendencies of Florida and its people, mix them into jars and imagine the outcome. The answer is Florida men’s game. This is an event inspired by intense headlines and Sunshine State shenanigans, returning to Saturday in its second year.
Thousands of patrons of all ages dressed in American flag shirts, tank tops, cowboy boots or flip-flops have been poured into St. John’s County fairgrounds for a packed, sunny day filled with festivals. The Florida area’s representative team headed straight for competitions, from the Panhandle to Fort Myers, which included disrupting hurricane supplies in grocery store aisles and navigating obstacle courses while avoiding police.
This day began in earnest with the challenge of “Eat The Butt.” Meanwhile, competitors tried to scarf down the Pig Bat plate as quickly as possible. Around the same time, two wildcard teams were selected from the crowd, including one, which includes Orlando-based contestants.
Christine Willage traveled from Destin for the game with a group of friends wearing matching shirts that read “Florida: American Mullet.” She was chosen with two friends to compete with Tampa’s garbage pandas.
“It’s like the Florida version of the Redeemer Olympics,” she said. “We love it…everyone is just having fun. There’s no fight. We welcome cops and deputies here. Only old fashioned adults who have fun.”
The first competition, the weaponized Pool Noodle Duel, began with the Gainesville Ball Busters, the first all-mail team of the Floridaman Games, and played against the Tampagod Panda. One at a time, two contestants entered the pool and tried to knock each other from their feet using padded sticks on each end. This was followed by human beer pong. There, the team tried to knock each other down while wearing an inflatable bubble called a knockerball.
Other events and shows were shows that were unrelated to the actual “games,” including the Lawnmower Race, the Hell the Poppin Freak Show, and several matches for the Midget Wrestling Warriors, which helped to break the day and keep the audience on their toes.
St. Augustine’s Tristin Wettstin was randomly chosen to participate in an unconventional race featuring commentary from NASCAR driver Jeffrey Earnhardt.
“We were very excited to see another racer revving his engine. Another guy showed up and loved our enthusiasm and then asked if I wanted to race,” he said. “I own a landscaping business so he found the right guy. He chose my brother too.”
Around the festival grounds, guests viewed from barbecue food vendors, Ninjanation Obstacle courses were tried, and we visited with Gatorland crocodiles or took the chance by riding a mechanical gator.
St. Augustine’s team Hanky Spanky, the champion of last year’s first Floridaman Game, fell after the first two events, and the first two events he placed in the middle of the leaderboard.
Team member Larry Donnelly said he was upset with the group placement, but he recalls the spirit of the game and the global media attention that came from last year’s events.
“We’re here to have fun with our friends. The turnout is good, the venue is really good. Pete (Melfi) did a lot,” he said, noting the founder of the event. “I interviewed the guys in London. We were on the Australian news.”
As the afternoon continued, Hanky Spanky’s luck began with “Florida sumo match and beer chug.” The team’s biggest member, Justin Carter, has taken Inverness’s Cooter Commandos at hand.
Throughout the day, audience enjoyed commentary and postgame interviews with Canadian stand-up comedian Choi Durena and Florida-based social media star Kevin Flynn, the man behind @floridaman Instagram, and Mike Beussie, owner of Central Florida Sausage Castle.
From the second of the game, Hurricane Party Preparation: Grocery Aisle Brawl, competitors were silly in their grocery carts before grabbing as many beers as possible, toilet paper and solo cups, while trying to stop the efforts of other teams.
During the first matchup, the event was interrupted by a Florida man running through the field and grabbing supplies, bringing up confusion from nearby spectators and event founder Pete Melfi. In a true Florida way, he was immediately led to a sheriff’s deputy.
The final contest that seemed to capture the most plot was a course of evasion arrest failure, despite a delayed schedule of an hour and a half. Competitors had to stolen the catalytic converter and slip the tarp-coated tarp covered in baby oil from their mattress downstairs before attempting to overtake real police officers.
After the points were tallied, the leaderboard showed that Hanky Spanky was tied to the Orlando Slimeballs and first place, followed by St. Augustine Beach amphetamine. The “Florida Women” bonus challenge, skipped earlier in the day, became a deciding factor in who won the game.
Three members of each team worked to use pansou to knock down mannequins using water balloons. Donnelly’s wife, Christy, fired the victory shot and secured $5,000 for Hanky Spank’s victory and $5,000 among team members.
“We were locked up, ground it and finished strong. I’m so proud of every boy and wife here, which is amazing,” Larry Donnelly said. “It’s been a pretty event, a long day. We turned it on. We’ve been waiting for this all year.”
Find @pconnpie on Instagram or send an email at pconnolly@orlandosentinel.com.
Original issue: March 2, 2025 12:00 PM EST
