Columnist Daniel Ruth gathers “enemies of people”

“Welcome to the monthly meeting of the people’s enemies. To protect yourself, if you are kind enough to wear all the Groucho Marx plastic glasses and mustaches. The overhead of the drone makes it even more difficult to identify you. You may do it.

“You may have noticed. Membership has grown slightly since January 20th, so we had to move gatherings from the corner table at Panera Pan to Raymond James Stadium. Those who were unable to enter were allowed to enter. For some overflow sheets are still available across the streets of the Steinbrenner field.

“Okay! It seems there are a lot of new members participating today. You, Teacher! Do you want to tell us a little about yourself?”

“Indeed, my name is Dietrich Bonhoeffer.”

“And what have you done to become the enemy of people?”

“As a Lutheran theologian, I opposed Hitler and wrote frankly terrible things about him. I was eventually thrown into a concentration camp – especially when Kash Patel became the FBI director. , this is the best part – I was hung after the trial of the show, where witnesses were called or no evidence was born.”

“Yeah, that never happened here.”

“Do you want to put some money in it?”

“Let’s move on. You, yes, you have the thorn crown. It must really hurt. Anyway, what’s your story?”

“My name is Jesus, and I am your Lord and Savior.”

“Do you have money for that job?”

“Only if you’re on TV. Anyway, when I stoked money out of the temple and preached about meek people who inherit the Earth, I turned sideways with the government. Apparently, these days, meek people are suckers and losers. It is considered to be.

“And what happened to you?”

“Let’s say it wasn’t pretty.”

“Who’s next? It looks familiar.”

“My name is Mark Millie. I cheered everyone up when I said that the military should be faithful to the US Constitution only.”

“It seems benign enough.”

“I too, until Donald Trump said I should be executed. They defeated my portrait with the Pentagon, canceled my security clearance, and despite my death threat, I stripped my protection details.”

“I want to testify!”

“And are you a teacher?”

“Martin Luther King. I was accused of being a communist, and then the FBI continued for years.”

“And why was that?”

“I advocated civil rights, voting rights, labour rights and….”

“Yeah, you were a big troublemaker, right? What happened next?”

“I was assassinated. Some people get easily irritated.”

“Can I go next? I’m Jane Fonda…”

“You can sit, Jane. We know, we know. Someone else?”

“Yes, I’m Mike Pompeo. I served as Secretary of State during Trump’s first term.”

“And what happened?”

“That’s what it is. I peer in and rock the Boot Ricker without a peer, Trump pulled me on me. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”

“Me too. My name is Anthony Forsey, and until 2020, I was a very beloved and highly respected doctor and one of the world’s leading experts in infectious diseases. After that, The threat, an attack on my credibility has come. And now I live as if I was part of a witness protection program.”

“why is that?”

“I said people should get vaccinated to protect Covid-19. I’m giving advice based on science and they were told that science is very overrated. ”

“Yeah, boy! There was nothing good from there. What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know. Probably the truth.”

“You’re such a funny guy, Tony. After all, the truth is very overrated. Do you think we all came here? I realized that a group of gentlemen just came in. And you are.”

“We are the founding fathers. My name is Tom Jefferson.

“And are you considered the enemy of people?”

“Yeah, Steve Bannon called us to give us bad news. He said that all of this constitutional things will turn the country into ‘blade runners’ plans to “Mad Max.” “It prevents you from encountering.”

“What did you think about that?”

“Mr. Franklin was asked what we accomplished and he said democracy – if you could keep it. That seemed silly enough.”

“I realized that Mr. Franklin wasn’t with you.”

“Ahem, he couldn’t make it. He’s on a date with Marilyn Monroe. Being an enemy of people seems to have a certain sexual attraction.”

“I can only do what I want.”

“Hope about sexual attraction or democracy?”

“We’ll take it up at the next meeting – if we’re still here.”

Daniel Ruth writes monthly guest columns for the Tampa Bay Times. His podcast, Daniel Ruth Show, is currently available on Spotify.