This version of the column first appeared in Stepinitely, columnist Stephanie Hayes’ weekly newsletter featuring bonus columns and behind the scenes chatter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.
Discussion suggests that artificial intelligence is stealing both our souls and writers’ ticks. Detectives are beginning to assume that a humble em dash (which appears to be the elongated hyphen surrounding this phrase) conveys that the prose was written by AI.
This could probably bring some truth. Because AI steals from writers to write. Professional writers love em dash. Journalists in particular most often use them and abuse them with reckless abandonment when Comma does. When you want to emphasize the points or lend a little talent to the aisle, it’s time to launch it, baby. Instead of living expenses, we seek serotonin by tapping that dash into sentences.
EM dashes are just one of many things that AI has been stolen – sorry, “learned” – from people who say words to make a living. Putting “Writing a column on Stephanie Hayes’ Style Mdash” into ChatGpt, I’ve recently admitted spiraling. It quickly made something…well, let me show you:
There are few in this world that are more powerful than the EM dash. Well – except for the appearance that your mother gives you when she says “anything” under your breath, or the existential horror that creeps up when your wi-fi goes out during ZOOM. But em dash? She is power.
The EM dash is the equivalent of your most resourceful friend who appears late for dinner and tells a story that includes a geese and ukulele. They are confused. They are clear. They are everything you didn’t know everything your writing didn’t need – all of a sudden they can think of.
Um…excuse me? To embody me so accurately? Robot I’m not that funny, but she’s trying to. She also did the EM dash quite wrong. She needs an editor, but the scary thing is that she can turn the above passage into a human that is my editor. She probably couldn’t write before she told her to choose something stronger than “goose” or “ukulele.”
AI is tricky and more companies (and who love newsrooms among them) are working on how to use it responsibly. Since you don’t put your bot back into the cage, location experts like Poynter have devised and refined toolkits for ethical AI use. And it’s not all tough. Technology has the potential to streamline many workflows, and more, this may be the most boring sentence I’ve ever written. Where is the robot?
I’m feeling anxious about my M3GAN doll version in a magical computer box, as it’s all true! The only thing that gives me comfort is that I know that the robot exists as I pumped endless materials into the internet. Robot Me is my simulation honed by creating a specific sentence structure, syntax, and, well, atmosphere. We are one. Being alone, the robot never would have turned me on and enacted an elaborate murder plan so that she could take over my life. right? right? ? ?
Let ChatGpt check: Is my robot version going to kill me?
That’s a heavy question, but let it go.
If you’re talking more phorically (“Is my version of being a productive, efficient, optimized, robot trying to destroy a real human?”), that’s the real concern that people have. The pressure to act like a machine is always achieved without a break, but it can absolutely tire you out of your self, creativity and emotional well-being. In that sense, yes, if you take over it without leaving room for your human needs, your “robotic self” can hurt you.
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Literally – if it means “I’m building a robotic version of mine and getting what it’s planning to kill me,” then we’re in sci-fi territory. That’s not a realistic concern unless you’re doing serious experimental robotics combined with the autonomy of general AI (and still, this is highly unlikely due to safety protocols and the limitations of basic robotics).
If you mean something else, feel free to be clear – I have your back.
of course. Em dashes of you and your suspicious number.
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